Sunrise to Sunset

And as far as sunrise is from sunset,

      He has separated us from our sins.

As parents feel for their children,

God feels for those who fear Him.

He knows us inside and out,

keeps in mind that we're made of mud.

Men and women don't live very long;

like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,

But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,

leaving nothing to show they were here.

God's love, though, is ever and always,

eternally present to all who fear Him,

Making everything right for them and their children

as they follow His Covenant ways

and remember to do whatever He said.

Psalm 103:12-18

As the summer heat sets on us here in the south, I am wondering what happened to the winter we were supposed to have!?!? Oh well, we are moving toward summer in full stride. Our family calendar has unfortunately overlapped several times causing this momma a lil bit of stress. I want to be involved with my family as much as possible and sometimes you have to let things go. Unfortunately, this blog has gone by the way side. So again, I will try to play catch up of the past few months with the Cornelius Clan.

Christmas was wonderful, a much needed time of rest. I was able to love on my kids and make some very special memories with my family. I had struggled with our last placement and wasn't sure I would be ready to move on with fostering any time soon. But God moved my heart and I knew that I would be ready for another precious kiddo by the beginning of the new year. We didn't decide to foster because it was easy, we did it because taking a child out of a bad situation is something God has equipped us to do. I learned a lot from our first placement and I used the God given wisdom to modify our direction. Matt has such a busy career in Real Estate, I have to look at my situation almost like a single mom. God gave Matt & I a peace about narrowing our specifications for our next placement, and so we moved forward. On Matt's 36th birthday we were placed with a beautiful brown-eyed baby boy. C has some physical issues that we had to address. So therapist and Dr. visits have become our new normal. Let me stop right here and just say how thankful I am that we live in such a wonderful city that provides such amazing medical care. I have been so happy with the help I have received for this little boy. C had a hard time with our family for the first few weeks. We are huggers, kissers and snugglers. He apparently hadn't had much exposure to this type of situation, so the first month was rough for him. I have watched my children do exactly what Jesus told us to do. They took C in as one of the family the very first day and have loved on him ever since. They have a patience with him that dumbfounds me. I get frustrated with his progress some days, and I am humbled when I let my kids take over. C immediately responds very well to our mass chaos : ) Brandon and Alaina have had a very successful spring semester at school. Brandon is rocking the 3rd grade and is so excited to be playing soccer again with his dad as his coach. He thrives in a competitive environment and it shows out on the field .So far their team is undefeated! Alaina goes above and beyond any expectation we may have of her. She finished the entire Ramona series of books in less than 6 months. She loves to read and takes any academic challenge on without wavering. Hannah is in preschool and loves it! I think she would stay at school if I would let her. She loves her teachers and all the new friends she has. She asks every week when her and her friends get to have a girls night out. She is definitely our social butterfly. Logan has blown me away.As his 3rd birthday approaches, I have to stop and remind myself that he is still only 2!! He takes so much pride in his new role as the "Big Brother". His nickname around here is Lovey. Logan is the most merciful and loving person I have ever met!!! If anyone is hurting, sad, or just grumpy, you can bet Logan is right there trying to make them feel better. I always smile when I think about how much God teaches me through kids.

A month ago, C's bio mom relinquished her parental right before the judge. Days before the hearing, she had a change of heart. She requested that our family adopt him. She said she had a peace about us being the ones that would take care of C. I was brought to tears when I heard this. She had been hard to deal with up to this point, but I just kept praying God's will be done. No fighting, no stress. The judge stripped bio dad's rights and accepted mom's plea. We are moving to adoption!!! We have a hearing and a conference mid-May to negotiate details with the State of Texas, but we are excited about the progress. C is a member of our family and we are anxiously waiting for the legal right to claim him : )

This past week we found out that C has to have tubes put in his ears. We have tried medications to keep his poor ears clear of fluid, but have finally decided to have the procedure done. I have never been through this with my other kids, so I am a little nervous. C is behind on his level of communication and has failed several hearing tests, so at this point I am ready to do whatever the Dr.'s think is best just to ensure healthy ears. So please say a lil prayer for us on May 8th!

I realize that most foster to adopt cases don't move as quickly as ours has, but I am a firm believer that God works through every situation, in His timing, for His purpose. I pray that someone reading this will take a step to help a child who needs an advocate and love. If I can answer any questions about the process, please let me know. I have amazing people who have helped us along this journey and I am anxious to pass along the blessing of helping a child.

Come Let us Adore Him~ Christ the Lord!

*The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. ~Deuteronomy 31:8~

Hello everyone! Merry Christmas! I hope this finds you doing well! I have a hard time believing 2011 is just about to be wrapped up. Between Christmas parties, children's programs, and just the everyday responsibilities time has gotten away from me. So, I will try to get you up to speed with our family happenings. As many of you know, we were finally placed with foster children before Thanksgiving. A 17 month old boy(T) and an almost 3 year old girl(C). They were part of a sibling group of four. We were placed with the younger two, our friends were placed with the older siblings. The first few days were overwhelming as expected. Getting anywhere with six children was a huge adjustment from having only 4 kids. Distributing food at meal time is quite a juggling act as well. C & T came with a ton of stuff. But very few items actually were the right size. So we went and bought the necessities. And I have to thank all who have given us clothing the past few years. I was able to get most of what I needed for the kids out of my shed : )  The CPS worker had informed us that we would most likely have the kids for a 12 month period, but little else was disclosed. Things seemed to be settling down pretty well, I thought, for our first placement. I have always had that nagging feeling that I would have a hard time bonding with foster kids. But Matt and I immediately bonded with the kids, and the pack(our bio kids) were excited to have them in the house. Each of them stepped up to help around the house, shared their toys, and managed the chaos fairly well. I knew God would equip us, but I guess I didn't really think he would handle every aspect of the heart issues as faithfully as He did. The 17 month old(T) is a typical 17 month old boy. Going, going, and going non stop. He is a healthy & loving baby boy.  After about a week, I realized that the sweet baby girl (C) needed help, lots of help. Being a two year old and having a dysfunctional situation for most of your life is hard to overcome. Being able to trust an adult was something she was slowly coming to terms with and assimilating into her reality. I sat with her and let her process things how she needed to process them. When she would finish and was able to calm down, she would hug me and tell me "JJ, I love you!". Talk about a feeling of fulfillment! After 2 weeks of working almost exclusively with C, I realized that I couldn't give her the time and the patience she required. I was zapped emotionally! I still had 5 additional kids to care for and be involved with. Not to mention a husband who wasn't about to lose a wife to motherhood. I felt the guilt set in when Matt & I made the decision that we had to have them moved to a more qualified foster home for C's sake. After talking with a foster mom about transitioning the kids to her home, God gave me such a peace. I was taking care of C & T! Every time the guilty feeling that I had failed them crept in, God shut it down! This was all part of His sovereign plan. He helped me realize that He created these babies in their mother's womb, He has walked with them every step of the way and will watch over them all the days of their lives. I am sending them on knowing how BIG and CAPABLE my God is!! He allowed me to be a small part in their lives.  Matt & I got to hug on them for a while, to actually be the hands of God. I am humbled beyond belief!!

 So, they have been gone for several days now. The home they were moving to has dealt with moderate level children before. (Yes- children are put on a scale according to their behavior once they become wards of the state.We are licensed for basic care.)This family is experienced and is knowledgeable in all  the resources that are available for C and are eager to start getting her help! I am able to stay in touch with them and hear about their progress through the foster mom/friend. T is rough and tumble as ever. C is making leaps and bounds in her healing process. This foster mom is so thoughtful, she texts me updates. God is so GOOD!! Matt & I are getting them back for a weekend in January to help out their new foster parents. God has again taken absolutely every detail and wrapped it up with much love! Our pack was able to put two faces to kids without a mom & dad to care for them. And because of these two kids, my heart has grown by four more little feet! : )
In the midst of the hardest day, I remember I prayed and asked God where he was in all of this...and Deuteronomy 31:8 came to mind. He is right here with me. He never left me and has been my refuge more than once during these few weeks. There is much work to be done and He asks me to do a part of it, not ALL of it. So we have taken some time off and I have been able to relax, decorate my tree, care for some sick babies, and really prepare my mind for this season. We hope to be placed again very soon. I am ready to take on another sweet baby for as long as God would have them here. God is faithful in everything He does! I am blessed to be a part of His plan. I think I can speak for my family and say that this year when we celebrate Jesus' birthday, we will have much to thank Him for!
Brandon and Alaina have had a tremendous first half of the school year. Brandon has had to learn about the reality of the playground. He has watched two different boys getting picked on. He came home crying and when I got the story out of him, He hadn't even been picked on! His heart was so broken for the bullied kids. Matt and I were able to teach him about compassion and what he can do to reach out to those who are hurting. He has such a big heart~ God has mighty "Joshua-type" things for Brandon...I just know it!
Alaina has also done well with school. She loves life and loves to teach others. I owe her a lot of credit in teaching her little sister to actually write her name correctly!
Hannah is Hannah! She dives into whatever she can get into and can't wait for God to give her another sister. She is always performing, even when she is talking to you. She really does add so much sunshine to my days.
And Logan~ He had a difficult time with the foster kids being here. He shared his toys as well as a 2 year old can. Every morning he would ask while climbing out of bed "Mom, where are my friends?" referring to T & C. He didn't understand why C had such a difficult time being here, but was always ready to offer her a hug. Priceless~
I just have to take a minute and brag on my husband. Matt dumbfounded me these past few weeks. We always tell each other "I love you", but Matt actually walked out his love. He came through for me in amazing ways. He was by my side in a flash when I needed him, willing to do whatever I needed him to do. All the while running a successful Real Estate business to provide for our family. My love & respect for him has grown to a size that I never believed possible. He is a man who truly cherishes his wife! I thank God for using these few weeks to bring our marriage through the refining fire, burning away all the petty stuff and leaving behind a stronger and more beautiful marriage. I Love You Matt!!!
So, now you know what the past few weeks has been like for us. My prayer is that you are given a chance this season to experience God in a new way so He can become bigger to you. He is the real deal. Merry Christmas!!

Running to stand still...

The beginning of a school year, for us, is insane! So many new experiences, friends, teachers, & classes.  You can feel the stress around our house. God always comes through and shows our family that we can trust Him with all of our fears & anxiety.
Alaina, not only is reading on a 2nd grade level, but absolutely LOVES her teacher. She is working through a workbook, teaching herself to write in CURSIVE! I am not sure where she gets her drive to learn, but it makes my job as her mom so much easier. 1st grade has been a wonderful experience for her so far and I know it's going to get better from here.
Brandon has hit 3rd grade with a smile. He has a teacher who can be hard when needed, but really just wants to see them do their best. He loves a challenge and I think this teacher is up for that challenge!
H-Bomb and I(yes, that is how Hannah signs her name)  are doing preschool here at home. This is the first time I have attempted preschool with any of my other children. She loves to learn, but still wants to put her slant on things. I try to explain that some things aren't up for change, but she is determined to see things how she wants them to be rather than how they really are. She really brightens my days : )
My baby, Logan, is potty trained now. YAY! He seems to be growing up faster than the others. Not happy about that, but he is lots of fun. The girls always want him to be the dad, prince or the baby during their pretend play. He always ends up being the dinosaur! Gotta love that kid~
As of August 18th, Matt & I officially became licensed foster parents in the great state of Texas. To start things off, were asked to provide respite care for another foster family for four days. Basically, we were responsible for 2 foster children while the foster parents went out of state. It was our first taste of having SIX kids in our house. We were doing fine, but I think I stressed myself out way more than necessary. A day after their foster mom had picked them up, I was diagnosed with Shingles!
SHINGLES! I am a healthy 32 year old~ what the heck am I doing with SHINGLES!! The doctors told me that I probably had a supressed immune system due to too much STRESS! So I took the next week and rested...as much as a mother of 4 can. All is well now. The medication did it's job and praise be to God that I only had severe pain for the first couple of days. After that, the swelling went down quickly and the pain was mostly gone. A week after the diagnosis, I was feeling great- rested and back at the gym. Unfortunately during this week, we were unable to take a placement of a sibling group because of my prior diagnosis. But we know that God works all things together for our good and that His ways are perfect & flawless. So we marched on~
This past Thursday, I got a call about a sibling group that fit our critieria. I remember texting Matt telling him to accept the placement, he did, and I began getting things ready for two more kiddos. For me, it really doesn't take much to attach to a child. I remember scurrying around the house washing bedding and asking friends for baby furniture, completely ready to take on any situation that comes through my door. An hour later, my phone rang. Our placement coordinator was on the phone telling me that CPS had decided to place the children with a family closer to their bio-family...
CRASH! I know they were not my kids, but I still felt like my balloon popped. I had gone from thinking "I am crazy- I cannot be a mom of 6" to "I cannot wait to tackle this". I was mad, sad, confused, and all of the above. But again, that small voice in my head interupted my thought pattern. I took a deep breath. God is working. I know He has something else for us.
So that brings us to the first few weeks of September. We are currently working on another placement. I know that my God is soveriegn. He has already written tomorrow and the days after that. We can rest in Him knowing that if this is His plan for our family, it will happen and He will equip us.
God has a wonderful way of showing us how close He is by using great people to come along side us and help us out. You all know who you are and we LOVE you!!! For now, we fix our eyes on Him and know that He is worthy of our trust ~

Wait Patiently for Him

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him ~Ps.37:7~

"Hurry up and wait" seems to be the order of our summer so far. We have submitted to every requirement for fostering children in this state, but have yet to be licensed. Weeks go by and I say "God, I think we are ready now" , and then another mountain comes into view that we need His help to climb. I am surprised at how often I tell God my timetable on how things should go, thinking He will compromise His sovereignty. But daily I am reminded how thankful I am that the God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow knows what's best for me and my family- His way in His timing.
A few weeks ago, I had to make a hurried trip back to Wyoming to be with family as we said goodbye to our wonderful Grandpa Claude. He lived a hard life, but was one of the most generous & graceful men I have ever known. God allowed us the peace of knowing where he is spending eternity. My sweet Grandpa acknowledged Jesus Christ as his Lord & Savior in his last days on this earth. What a gift to receive!!
The day after I got back from Wyoming, we were blessed to be able to take a real family vacation. We made the 12 hour drive to Florida, anxious to have a beach vacation. Being a mom of four kids and knowing the trip ahead of them, I was amazed at how God kept them content & calm throughout our drive there & back. Matt was able to unwind, have fun, and just soak up family time. The kids were able to play with cousins, appreciate another part of God's beautiful world, and create memories that will brighten their life forever. I found a good sized shell that washed up on the shore right at my feet. That little shell made my week! A little something I can take with me to remember God's faithfulness. He is in the smallest detail of our lives. I thank Him for giving us that week with family to rest & refresh our minds. Florida is beautiful! I highly recommend the beaches near Destin : )
Now we are quickly approaching the middle of July. I see God clearly telling us to continue waiting and know that He is God of EVERYTHING!!! He does everything flawlessly and in a perfectly orchestrated way. Please continue to pray for us as we wait on the Lord. Pray for the children who will be coming into our house. May they be able to soak up our love and see Him in what we say & do. Also, pray that the affected families will be open to truth, restoration, and healing. Wrapping this blog up with one of my favorite promises seems fitting:
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
   whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
   that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
   its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
   and never fails to bear fruit." ~Jeremiah 17:7-8                                 
                                                                               

In the beginning...

I am starting with a brief explanation as to how we have gotten to this point. Just over 14 years ago, Matt & I met through my best friend and started dating soon after. On August 7,  1999 we were married at his beautiful home church, Travis Avenue Baptist Church, in Fort Worth, Tx. Two people could not have been more opposite and focused in two completely different directions. We worked and finished up school, unaware that God was bringing us together on His terms for His purpose.
We were greatly blessed with our first son on September 1, 2002. Brandon is such a smart & insightful kid. I won't be surprised if he pursues a career in law because of his ability to negotiate & defend any cause. I can honestly say that Matt & I made lots of parenting mistakes with him, but again God has our backs. Before Brandon's first birthday, Matt served on a jury that sent a mom away for 40 years for making & using drugs in front of her kids. From that point, the conversation was started about possibly adopting a child.
A year later, Alaina Grace came along on October 1, 2004. She was such a high maintenance baby, but has grown into such a empathetic & loving girl. We joke that she's a better parent than both of us put together. : ) Matt & I resumed our conversation about adopting, even starting paperwork with an agency, but God had other plans. Hannah Faith came along on March 19, 2007. So happy and content as an infant. She has grown to own the loving name Hurricane Hannah. She loves to have fun whenever and where ever she happens to be. If there are no friends or siblings around, she just creates her own playmates. If I have any wisdom thus far in regards to parenting, it would be that transitioning from two kids to three is one of the hardest things I have done! But after the dust settles, you find your new normal and life marches forward. Two years later God blessed us again with a son. Logan Russell was born on May 12, 2009. He is a mama's boy, so loving & sweet.
Now, Matt & I wholeheartedly know God has given us the green light to move forward with helping a child...but a whole new prospective is coming into focus. Adoption is fading, while fostering children is where our hearts seem to be settling. Fostering a child means temporarily helping someone's child while the parents are expected to help themselves. We have the opportunity to minister to a family, not just a child. Following God's lead, we are diving in.
So many agencies to pick from, and I'm sure they are all good. But a friend of mine had used Presbyterian Children Homes and Services and had a great experience with the whole fostering process. Matt & I were sold once we met our caseworker. We were off and running toward very unfamiliar territory.
After much paperwork, classes, TB tests, inspections, fingerprints, background checks, and a home study, we are now waiting for the State of Texas to officially license us to foster kids.
It's been almost nine months since we started the process with PCHAS. Just the right amount of time to absorb what's about to happen. Trying to prepare for something we really can't prepare for mentally or emotionally is exhausting. We will be opening our home to a child who may have nothing but the shirt on their back, completely traumatized by the removal process. That's where we launch way beyond ourselves. Our faith in God and His Word take over.
God has called each of His children to do something. He has lavished His love on us, equipped each of us according to His call on our lives. If we don't step up and bring children who are in the midst of darkness into His light, who will???
So friends, my intent on starting this blog is to keep you informed on our story. The ups & downs as we fix our eyes on Jesus to lead us through. Maybe someone else will step up and help a child who so desperately needs someone to step in and love them. Stay tuned....